I think one of the hardest things for me as a mother was deciding whether to breastfeed or bottle feed. When I was in the hospital, the baby nurse came in and had a ton of questions regarding Brunson and once she got to the question whether I was going to breastfeed or bottle feed I found myself unable to answer. Which before, I said no matter what I was going to breastfeed but once it was time to decide I just couldn't. So she made things easy for me and marked that I would be doing both. Which not knowing that in a few hours that would be the best decision ever. Like I mentioned in a previous post, Brunson wieghed 9.4 lbs and was 22' inches long. Labor was tough and long and once he finally arrived I had no energy and was on a lot of pain medications. I was so excited about him being here but was in no condition to learn how to breastfeed. So the nurse gave me a bottle so that I could feed him and then they took him to the nursery for the night so I could get some rest.
The next morning, the lactation consultant came in and asked if I was ready. After having a full nights sleep, my mind was cleared and I knew that I wanted to try and breastfeed. When we got home, I found breastfeeding very calming and it was such a bonding experience for us. But then the growth spurts started and sleepless nights happened. One day I found myself sitting on the couch with dirty hair, pj's mid-day, in so much pain and crying, all while trying to breastfeed. At that moment I felt lost and wasn't sure I could continue. Thankfully my husband was there by my side and let me know that whatever decision I made he was okay with it. So I decided to go see my lactation consultant one more time before I threw in the towel. I was so glad I did because I found out I had mastitis (which is a breast infection) and he wasn't latching on correctly. So this explained why I was in so much pain. I also did research on the benefits of breastfeeding and bottle feeding and I found things about both that I liked. Now that the infection is gone and he is latching on correctly we are back to it being calming and a bonding experience. I have to take this day by day and do what is best for the both of us, so I continue to breastfeed because TODAY it is best for us but if tomorrow I start to bottle feed then that is okay too,
This post is mainly for new mommas, to let them know that they are not alone. Deciding whether to breastfeed or bottle feed can be such a hard decision. It also makes it a lot harder when others can put added pressure on you with what they think you should be doing. Some people are pro breastfeeding, some are pro bottle feeding, Some will have their opinions on breastfeeding and others on bottle feeding. You have to go deaf to all the opinions and figure out what works best for you and your child. You are a mother and your instincts will kick in and you will know what is best.