It's Not All About You Anymore

When I started Little Blue Dress I wasn't happy with myself and basically the most exercise I got was walking to my car from work. Now don't get me wrong I was happy with my life but not with how I was treating my body.

So I decided to make a change. January 20, 2013 was a life changing day for me, I began this blog. That day I started tracking everything I ate. To begin with I thought the weight would just drop off because I cut out all the fatty foods that I had been eating. But that was not the case. I lost a pound here and there but not what I expected. So I knew I had to do more. I realized that I was eating out a lot. Even though I was eating healthier options you really never know what kind of oils and other ingredients they are putting in your food. So I taught myself to cook. I absolutely fell in love with cooking, it was my therapy.

The pounds started to drop a little faster but I wanted to be fit. Growing up I was pretty active, so it wasn't like I had never ran a mile before. So I decided to get a gym membership, sign up for my first 5k and get my butt moving. 

Joining the gym was exactly what I needed. I would go every morning before work and sweat it out on the treadmill and then I would make up a different circuit workouts to do after. I made it fun and never did the same thing. I suddenly started to melt away. 

I was the healthiest, happiest, fittest I had ever been in my life. 

I had finally reached all my goals that I had set on January 20th. 

Then late one November night I got ENGAGED! We were so excited and just couldn't wait to start our life together. I was pretty pumped because unlike a lot of brides to be I didn't have to go on a crash diet to fit into my dream dress, which happened to be my mother's.

Once we were married I kind of put the gym on the back burner and enjoyed late night take out with my husband and found that I put on a few unwanted pounds. Which can be expected your first year of marriage but I didn't want it to get out of control.

Then on Easter this past year, as my husband and I were driving back from vacation I noticed I wasn't feeling right. That night we got the best surprise of our life.

We were going to be a party of three!

We were so excited and just couldn't wait for our little man to get here.

During my pregnancy, it was like my body hated anything healthy. All my healthy recipes that I previously loved I could no longer even smell. I basically lived on fruit loops, Wendy's chicken sandwich's, Ice cream and pizza. I am surprised my body didn't go into shock, well I think it probably did. I had never eaten so unhealthy in my life but honestly I just couldn't help it. I craved all the bad. I gained over 50 pounds with my pregnancy and the only reason I know that is because they told me my final weight in the hospital. I quit looking at the scale at 6 months. I was shocked and kind of terrified because I knew I had to lose it but at that point I just wanted to love on my newborn and not worry about it. 

Once we got home it was like some kind of switch went off in my body. I craved healthy foods again and the thought of eating the fatty foods that I had been eating made me sick. So I thought all this weight that I gained would just drop off because I was breastfeeding and eating healthy again. Wrong. Yes, I have lost a good amount of weight but it just seems to be going a lot slower than I thought it would. Then last week, I went shopping with my mom and decided it was time to get a new pair of pants. Let's just say I didn't come home with any pants and I found myself very discouraged. My mom reminded me that I did just have a baby a month and a half ago but it just didn't seem to matter. I was having a pity party for myself. Then my mom said six words that completely changed my mindset. " It's not all about you anymore".  That is exactly what I needed to hear.

I feel like a lot of new mommas go through the same thing. When you are pregnant you really don't think about the weight gain because well your pregnant and it is expected. But once your bundle of joy has arrived you are left with a body that can be unrecognizable. When you look in the mirror you may think to yourself, am I ever going to look like me again?" Not to mention, when you have friends that have babies and it just seems to melt off of them in the hospital. Being a momma can be stressful enough. We have to learn that once we have a child "it's not all about us anymore". We have another human to keep alive so why add stress to your life about something so ridiculous. I will eventually get back to where I was but I can't let myself get angry every time I try on clothes or cut calories because that isn't fair to my little one. I don't need to be a size 4 quite yet and I may never be that size again and that is okay. I just need to focus on my little one, enjoy this time with him, continue to eat right, get back to my workouts and remember "it's not all about me."